Mike Pence Upset CDC Recommends Getting Rid of Beards

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Mike Pence was horrified to learn that CDC officials recommend getting rid of beards. The CDC claims has asserted that beards can prevent face masks from properly sealing, making them less effective. It was tough information for Pence to swallow, as he has been with his stand-in wife for over 30 years.

Pence debated with CDC officials, telling them he didn’t understand why he had to get rid of his beard, as he routinely avoids any physical contact with her, and promptly washes his hands after. CDC officials kept trying to explain to Pence that they were referring to facial hair, but Pence refused to listen, and was adamant that his wife did not have any facial hair.

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